The Aunty Antics – Part 1

I have the world’s most psychotic ladies in my family. Slightly wonky grannies, I suppose are acceptable in a way, but my aunties on the other hand… And this strange type of psychosis is very much more peculiar in my family, as it inflicts both my maternal and parental aunts. No wonder I turned out the way I did!

I plan to spend a few days introducing them to you, in case they’re not all that strange and in case you just might have a slight case of the do-si-dos in your family line as well.

(names will be withheld for fear of stoning and death by guillotine)

Aunty A screams and wails about the woes of smoking and what it’s doing to today’s youth in front everyone at family gatherings, but when we’re alone, she’s actually been known to offer her nieces and nephew’s the occasional fag.

Aunty B totally denies the fact that she is 4 feet tall, and that her teeth pretrude about another foot ahead of her. So she cuts her hair in these urchin-like, boyish dos, wears clothes I would have had second thoughts about even at the age of 16 and gallivants around the neighbourhood gossiping to one and all about her latest catch at age 56 (who winds up being a 90 year old fogey about to draw his last) Trust me, there has been more than one funeral talked of in the family, whilst she takes refuge and doesn’t pop out until she is ready to dinosaur-hunt again.

Aunty C seems to constantly have a combination of the World Wars going on in her life, but I must wonder if most of it is just for a sypmathy vote. I often thought Aunty C took the wrong career path in her life. She would have made a fantastic politician. If she’s upset about anything at home, she calls a meeting of the sisters and  they all meet at the ‘maha gedara’ where her opening line is generally a mournful wail about how everyone is harassing her poor life and she is too weak to battle it. Off march the rest of the clan to her home and tell everyone off for harassing poor Aunty C’s life. The same thing happens weekly, like a prayer. Isn’t it wonderful to have some sort of routine like that in your life that you can depend on to never let you down?

That’s all for today. Stay tuned for the next episode of Aunty Antics…

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Did it hurt?

Did it hurt when you climed out of your hole and expected the world to accept you?

Did it shock you to find out that there are harder things than coming out of your shell?

Was it hard to accept that dreams are meant to be just that – “dreams”?

Has it made you hard? Have you stopped dreaming?

Have you wanted to turn back home before you were half way up the dusty road?

I hope not.

I hope you still want to dance on the rooftops just when you need to break down and cry

I hope you’re able to forget for a moment & smile if your world falls to pieces around you.

I wish that you will still keep dreaming when your dreams die.

Don’t let it make you hard. Never stop being you.

Everything you thought you knew maybe have turned out to be a big fat lie.

You don’t have to be one, dreamer…

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