A little boy told me once that there’s always one sandwich missing in a sandwich basket. Apparently it was his philosophy in life. I laughed at the time. But as I began to get older I realized that truer words were never spoken. He had the most original way of telling me that nothing in life is complete. That there’s always something that stops any situation from being perfect. It sounds pessimistic in a way.
But it also reminds me of something someone else said. Mr. George Bernard Shaw said that “as long as I don’t have what I want, I have a reason for living. Contentment is death”. I’ve never been content. I guess that means I’m still very much here. It’s an affirmation that I am alive. That I still thirst and hunger and need for more than I have, greater things than are possible.
People tell me I’m too much of dreamer. That in the midst of my pessimism, hope always managed to creep in. Every time life beats me to the ground, I realize that that’s as low as I can ever get and I rise up. Time after time.
It makes you wonder though sometimes. Am I asking for too much to be happy. I look at what I have right now, the opportunities in front of me, the people in my life who love me, my job, my muse, my two amazing canine kiddies and I still want more. Different things than the obvious.
My English lit teacher wrote me a little note when I was leaving school that I know by heart. I see you longing for the finer things in life. Poetry in life and love and in everything you long for. It’s going to be lonely up there. But remember… the air up there is sweeter, rarer.
I think she got the 18 year old me down to a pat. And since I doubt I’ve grown up very much since then, other than to let my search beat me down time after time, I think I still won’t settle for anything less. I owe it to myself to move every mountain in my way. I owe it to myself to never stop searching.
In the midst of it, what really scares me is finding what I’m looking for. What if I find my missing sandwich? What happens when my picnic basket finally becomes complete and all I have left to do is, spread my gingham blanket on the ground and enjoy my day in the sun? Will it be the death of me? (can you see how that wretched pessimist in me creeps in through the cracks in the conversation?)
My teacher was right, my search, my chase has been a very lonely one. It’s an utterly depressing place to be sometimes when I stop and evaluate what I’ve had to come through. I’m still climbing my mountains but sometimes when the route gets a little rocky, it’s nice to have someone give you a hand up.
It’s an infinitely lonely place when no one sees into your soul and really gets you. But that’s not the point of this post. I just wanted to tell you in my own words, the other facet of why my blog is thus named.
I am the missing sandwich because I feel that my purpose is to complete someone’s life. But my blog is also called the missing sandwich because it’s a declaration of my final destination. My desire to be complete and the fact that it’s ok that I’m not quite there yet.
Hello TMS, I started a game of tag and you’ve been tagged. See my blog for further details.
RD
You’ve touched a chord. Again.
Your writing moves me. I think we resonate to the same frequency…
Wow that’s a lovely way to put it..
that’s lovely. exactly how i feel sometimes..
Glad to see someone else feels the same way.. Being contempt can only make it look “is that all to this”, the lonely search is what that keeps us going…!
Dreamers only changed the world. True, it’s lonely at the top, but the view is fabulous.
Good luck missey!
Hey babe, there’s nothing like a good roll in the hay to keep the weekend blues away.
your argument being , happy with discontentment and death with contentment. thats a very valid point. heres a logical argument. ignorance is bliss. but from the depth of our hearts we know that thats not nearly the case. and by flaw we cannot be satisfied with discontentment. and being contempt means death. somehow we try our best to take control of everything and anything we could. i believe its called power. there is no limit to power. ask a mason if you want proof. we then cycle into sadism and pain to loose either the feeling of being discontent or the feeling of purposelessness, that said, as it may seem, we have no way out of this prison we are in. to top it off we do not want to die, cause what we see is what we see. and our hands grasp it with fervor. the flaw of the atheist. as an individual and a society as a whole. corruption shall roam the lands. it just seems the game is rigged. the lakers will play the cavs. a 50 point melo does not matter anymore
Contentment doesn’t mean death (pessimist noted – ignored). Literally or Metaphorically. It’s the way you perceive things and how you look at what you’ve achieved, what you went through to ‘find’ that missing sandwich and to ‘be’ that missing sandwich to someone.
The fact that you went through it, for whatever reason, yourself or for someone else should give you enough reason to enjoy that blanket on the beach someday and think “Hey, all in a lifetime’s work and a good one at that”
🙂
Being content is not death, but finding one’s happy place is important. One third of my life has been spent out of SL, now obviously as the years progress this will be more. Personally I will always seek after what I don’t know, over time what awaits me around the corner hasn’t always been good. Majority of the time it has been fantastic. As I grow older the less limitations I set upon myself, it’s nice.
My quote;
“Every time you try to conform to other people’s expectations you are unhappy. When you are who you are, you are happy. But then you make those around you unhappy. In consequence you become unhappy. As a result of their unhappiness. So you remain as ever, unhappy.”
There is a whole world out there, go experience it…
“A wo/man’s reach should exceed their grasp
Or what’s a heaven for”
and
“One crowded hour of glorious life
Is worth an age without a name”
A lovely post. Liked the concept of the missing sandwich – or in other words a piece or few missing in a jigsaw puzzle. However I’d like to think that one person / even an event may not provide the missing pieces. Perhaps its a series of people, encounters, events, etc that fit in as we move on in our quest for being complete
A lovely post. Liked the concept of the missing sandwich – or in other words a piece or few missing in a jigsaw puzzle. However I’d like to think that one person / even an event may not provide the missing pieces. Perhaps its a series of people, encounters, events, etc that fit in as we move on in our quest for being complete