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Posts Tagged ‘Life’

I woke up in a foul mood today. Instinctively I knew something was wrong. And then I checked the date. I am exactly a month away fro turning 30. A pounding headache & a nightmarish day ensued. And then I checked my mail. A friend of mine sent me a link to a video, posted on this blog. It made me sit still, listen and read and despite the tears at that came at the end of it, I found my reason to believe. I maybe growing older, but my reasons for being are still intact. The personal ones not so much, the purposes more so. Made me want to rush into a phone booth and get into that red cape all over again. It’s beautiful & painful & all too true. Have a watch will ya?

Do pardon the corny song. The lyrics are meant to motivate, so it serves its purpose 🙂

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An Ode to DD

Well not quite an ode. A few paragraphs to be exact.

The man asked why I hadn’t named him in my favourite bloggers and friends post a few weeks back. A silly man I tell ya. Doesn’t he realize that his place in my heart is a special one? He’s had quite a few stories to tell which include me and I think it’s time I returned the favour.

I first met DD in early 2000 when we both worked in Lowe, then Lintas together. A large, dark, well-dressed, slightly overwhelming man, who didn’t wear undies on Friday just for kinks. His arguments with David Blacker were legendary and we’d all pop out along the corridor to hear them. But come 5 pm the 2 of them would be at Old Joes getting drunk together like the best of friends, albeit with some cutting remarks from David which DD would opt to laugh off instead of starting yet another war. It’s from these 2 that I learned the value of not taking advertising personally. We argue in this industry like cats and dogs, but some of us know how to walk out of one of them and still stay the best of friends.

DD told me once that we nutters in the ad industry take ourselves far too seriously. It isn’t this year that I finally began to grow tired of selling soap for a living and began to realize the wisdom of his words. We have brainstorms, we strategize, look for insights into the human psyche… all to sell soap to the masses. I for one have stopped taking my job seriously and I have DD to thank for it. I like my job, I do it well, it pays the bills. That’s it. My life, my real life has nothing to do with the advertising world anymore, unlike years ago.

A bunch of us would go to Old Joe’s after work at least 3 times a week. For those of you who don’t know, it’s a super homey place located on the St. Joseph’s College compound with excellent bites and arrack galore. At 19 or 20 my disposable income was virtually non-existent and most of the time the likes of DD would foot the majority of the bill, reminding the rest of us broke ‘uns that he was also young once and it’s no reason to miss out on all the fun. I’ve had some excellent memories drinking with DD that went on for years and every day we’d sit down together, I’d come away with a new experience.

On my 21st birthday I was at work and way too broke to have a party. I remember he was at home and called me asking me to just drop work and turn up at his house. A bunch of us sat in his living room getting drunk all afternoon. It was the nicest way to turn 21, I tell ya!

But we’ve had our share of legendary arguments as well. We’ve screamed at eachother along the corridors of Lintas and I’m sure he thought I was a right-royal brat at the time, but I wasn’t one to keep quiet and would stand up for my convictions which I do hope he managed to realize even then. But with DD, even the arguments were fun because he’d bring a new, albeit ridiculous perspective to the disagreement just to flummox me, leaving me gaping at him open-mouthed and furious that I had let myself get trapped in a nonsensical argument.

I love ya DD. And I miss having you around a lot more than you realize. Come home soon?

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Thanks BlackLullaby & Polka Dots for the tag. I’ve opted to use a term from Richard Bach when he wrote a letter to his younger self in The Bridge Across Forever because it is essentially things I really wish I knew then, which I’ve learned now.

Future__Present__Past_by_JusT_ShanT

Dear sandwich of 17,

You turn 30 this year and it’s been a long journey. Most of what you’ve done is pretty darn good between where you are and where I am now. Here’s just a few things to look out for along the way :

You’re going to skip an A/L exam. It will make for a pretty neat story to tell when you’re older, but it will also prevent you from getting the aggregate you need to go to Uni. You’ll regret it but you ought to know that you do pretty good for yourself career wise until you wake up one morning close to 30 and realize that you’ve been selling soap for a living, albeit in much prettier terms.

Your save-the-world complex never really goes away. It converts itself into a mother hen variant though. You are a nurturer through and through so don’t you ever doubt it when your own mother says you can’t even take care of yourself. There’s plenty of evidence out there to the contrary.

Don’t be such a prude about sex. 23 is way too late in the day to give it away. Trust me, when you finally find someone you can completely open up with sexually, you’ll be able to unlock doors within you that you never knew existed. In my case it was fairly late in the day that I discovered that. Go out there, get laid, enjoy it. You don’t have to worry about becoming promiscuous; we just aren’t built that way 🙂

Your mum was right though. You don’t really take care of yourself. Especially your heart. As a result it will lead you to making the worst relationship decisions of your life until you turn 29 and finally discover otherwise. It will also result in the terrible friendships with people who walk all over you. But you finally learn to stand up for yourself at 29 too. You get married way too early and it takes you away from the person you are now at 17. But rest assured, 29 will come with you rediscovering your former self and your former passions like never before. You’ll have someone perfectly unorthodox to thank for it. I’m not telling you who though. It’s someone you need to discover for yourself. And trust me, the surprise will be startlingly pleasant. The friends I have today and the people I love in this very moment, I wouldn’t trade for anything else in the world.

You look for the poetry and romance in everything. You’ll watch a masterpiece called 2001:A Space Odyssey and feel all warm and fuzzy inside when Dr. Floyd video conferences his little daughter & feel like crying when HAL 9000 is disconnected. You’ll watch AI and curl up in a ball and cry because the robot is abandoned. Don’t ever regret your ability to feel so intensely even if the fact that no one gets that about you will bring you down. You will hurt a lot. But you will also love a lot. Don’t ever deny the intensity and the capacity of your heart. You feel everything. It’s rare. Treasure it.

I know you’re in a rush to grow up, but I have some bad news for you on that front. You never do. Live with it. Your child-like optimism will get you through some pretty dark days and trust me; the decade ahead will be the darkest of your life. But you will come through it and learn to live and love again.

Irrespective of what anyone tries to tell you, you’re a good girl Nat and that’s important to know. I’ve watched you for years, seen how you’ve handled things that would have turned most others stark raving mad or the epitome of bitchiness, to say the least. You’ve just stood there with so much grace and smiled through it all, opting to hurt alone. No matter how hurt you are, you try your hardest to keep things peaceful for anyone else involved, both victim & villain. You have a fierce sense of loyalty that seems unparalleled sometimes and woe unto anyone who hurts someone you love.

Your strengths are your weaknesses and what hurts you most is the lack of reciprocation of feelings. But it’s all-good. You’re going to get through it all. People think you’re superwoman because of how strong you come across but you’re a bloody softy on the inside. I repeat : You’re a good girl. Don’t you dare forget it.

I won’t promise you a storybook ending, but you’re going to have the kinds of adventures others only dream of, every step of the way. Now go out there and live it!

Love,

Me, now aged 29 years, 10 months and 16 days.

P.s. Stop looking for the meaning of life, the universe and everything. Doug Adams already did that. The answer is 42. Go figure.

I hereby tag Hissyfits/Drama Queen/ The mad cat woman etc & the lovely ladies over at Aappa Thachchiya

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