Hello blogosphere, says I sheepishly. I went missing, true to mt blog title and I have no clue how to find my way back. But Cerno reminded me that this place, right here is where I belong. There’s so much I’ve wanted to blog about over the past few weeks but the words are finding themselves more and more difficult to come out. Work’s been a bitch. But that’s supposed to be good thing for the likes of me who goes and gets myself into way too much drama. The escapes to paradise have been eye openers in so many ways though and sitting myself down on the beach is when the inspiration starts to flow. So many words, so many vivid pictures in my head
Last night I was at rehearsals for a play I’m acting in and for a while now I haven’t been able to get into this very intense scene. And then I closed my eyes and was asked to go into my happy place, my happy moment and I realized that even that one perfect moment of mine was in Una. It was one of those mind-blowing, gone too soon kinda moments. But even though the moment’s lost, I can literally feel every single emotion when I want to. And that can be frightening. Especially for a somewhat lost soul like myself.
I feel like I’m at the fringes of this place called home. Like a voyeur, looking in but I can’t find the doorway. I turned my back and went off looking for the doorway to a thousand churches a while ago and didn’t realize that all I needed to do was turn my back around and come home. And now it seems too late. Like a blind man, I’ve been feeling my way around, but there’s no door to be found. Just walls and windows. Walls keeping me out, windows letting me peep in and see what I have lost. I said “People Always Leave” in my last post and I never realized though that in a way, I’m the one who left this time.
So much for the glory of the adventurer huh?
“nothing feels right when im not with you, sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos. taking them off cause i feel a fool, trying to dress up when im missing you.”
t-shirt – shontelle.
listen to the song. always makes me think of you. (with nothing but your t-shirt on…)
i love you. 🙂 x
sometimes its good to escape for a while. and did you ever think that maybe ‘home’ for you is outside the doorway and not on the inside?
I’m glad you found your way back… (hugs)
DD- Thanks. Listened to the song and I totally get what you’re saying. I love you too. 🙂
Delilah – you’ve got a point there. I’ve spent so much time going in and out that I’ve not stopped to figure out where I actually belong. And sometimes, it’s not always the safe places inside that we’re supposed to be
Angel – 🙂 Thank you. Hug back
Well I suppose I don’t love you as such, no offence and all but you know, I think this love thing might bea bit overrated.
But I definitely like you and am glad you’ve returned, as I think, are many.
I like you (but I said that before)
RD x
RD – I am awfully chuffed that you like me and found the need to repeat that sentiment twice in one comment 😛