Its time to write about the hacker. And what happened. I’m ready now.
You see, if you’ve been reading the blacklullaby and thekillromeoproject, you’ll know that it was my cousin Jerome Ziegelaar who hacked my blog. It wasn’t really a hack, it was my fault for letting him in on too much of my life which lead to him guessing my passwords. Never-the-less he still tried. And he continued to say nasty things about me in my blog, my Hi5 profile and my e-mail addy by mailing people about personal things and making them think I let them down.
This was the reaction to something that happened one night when we were together and we had an argument about something. Not a big one in terms of world war status, but admittedly I over-reacted. I always do and he knows that. This argument happened at a venue he forbidden from entering and he was afraid of the consequences of being caught as a result of me yelling. Not hysterically, but I was angry because he has said something hurtful.
But nothing happened. He decided to punish me for putting him in that situation anyway. This from a person who has repeatedly insulted me, made me feel insecure etc which I have tried to laugh off and done nothing about. This from a person I have forsaken everyone to help. Have argued with people about on his behalf. A person I have personally tutored free of charge. A person who I personally ensured was well employed and looked after, when no one wanted to hire him. A person I have stood by through thick and thin.
He said some of the most hurtful things – like the fact that I had been the cause of someone’s death. Someone very close to me. Another cousin in fact whose death I still haven’t gotten over. For the record he met with a bike accident in another country, and I could have thought the assusation ridiculous except that even the mention of his name still hurts. And Jerome knew this. He played on my weaknesses. He said many more things, but I don’t need to insult myself in my own blog.
What I do need to say is that he is the stupidest fuck on the planet. In my hands is the power to take away everything he has from his “closet” at home to his cushy job which I got him. When I am done with him , he’ll only be fit to go back to answer telephones at the pizza delivery.
He now knows that I know and is afraid of the extent I can do to him. He wants to explain himself. Not to apologize really. He just wants me to not do anything about it. I don’t want, nor do I need his sorry ass, sorry feelings. Silly boy – if he only felt some true remorse for his feelings!
There is so much I can do, but you know what – I don’t need to! I’m not him. And even if I tried, I’d only do it half heartedly. Nor am I going to stop trusting people. Because if someone breaks your trust, they have do deal with being a person who is unworthy of being a friend. Not me. I will continue to be me through and through. And hope that he realizes the value of true friendship someday. Because he certainly lost mine.
As I commented on thekillromeoproject, you are a bigger and better person than the rest of us. True, why stoop to his level. Good on ya!
Cheers!!!
Thank you. Don’t know how much bigger and better I am – after all I’ve made enough blunders in my life to know. But getting even is never a resort. I generally sit and plot it all out to get rid of some of the steam and pain, but when it comes down to it, I’m not vengeful. But thank you again for your faith in me. Its nice to know you care.
Its always relatives that hurt us so much…..he deserves a punishment…….
I just read thekillromeoproject and came here to see your post. You guys are so brave. And trust me, something tells me you’re going be a big success in life with your attitude. If it was me, would have taken the alternate option and taken every good thing in his life and taken it away one by one, slowly, and watched him suffer like he made you suffer. No one should inflict that kind of pain on someone and not feel the consequences. Like I said, you’re one of the people who are going to make and what’s more you’ll still be able to look yourself in the mirror.
remeber glansing the ST and to see beloved Kottu and then the ‘m.sandwich’ , next thing you know is m.sandwich is no more..
and then blacklayyby said some thing about the back ground to this story..
i read you and i read you well..
enough with kind words and justifications, anyway its all lame.
what he did was bad, bad bad.. its like comeing home as a friend and raping the family dog.
Jerome Ziegelaar or whoever is a stupid ass and lets give him the “stupid ass of the year” award and let him share it with Mervin Silva.
one positive thing coming out of this is that m.sandwitch won more friends and far more readership than the idiot Jerome could have ever imagined in his pea brain.
great blog, keep it up..lets have more on M.sandwitch.
may be its time you do a new project called “supidass Jerome Project” ..
t
p.s-pls publish a pix of the stupid f.
TMS you really dont wanna go down that dark road of bitter hate, hurt and revenge. YOU deserve better than that. Getting even with the sorry assed-double crossing-back stabbing-moronic-imbecilic-lame-twit is only gonna drag you down to his level and dredge up more hurt and pain. Be a Lion. Lions never fight pigs cos they dont want to wallow in the muck.
Its the hardest thing to do, but I think you should just simply move on. Forget all this ever happened and forget that there ever was such a .. “person”. He doesnt even deserve your anger.
Jerome Ziegler from St.Peter’s?
I just want to say reading this has been quite strange, because I had a very similar experience to you. This was not a relative but someone very similar in age to your cousin who I treated like a younger brother and who I helped a great deal, giving free tuition (coincidentally like you) etc.
This person started poisoning my mind against friends who I had a great deal of respect for and trusted. The final straw was when he started making allegations against my best friend who I had roped in to help him and support him in many ways. (This is just a comment section…and am trying hard not to turn it into a blog entry in itself!)
I must admit I was devastated at the betrayal of me and my friend by someone whose life turned around because of what we did for him. It was my friend who insisted we go and confront him together. Well, that gave me strength and made my relationship with my friend stronger than ever.
I also remember that before this incident, I went against my instinct and ignored some behaviour which was quite distasteful to me, and excused it as youth and immaturity. I think like you I had a confrontation with him about this behaviour, which may have caused him to start trying to make my other friends look as bad as him. I really don’t know. I just decided to cut him out of my life and not bother to speak to him about this any more. I think someone made a suggestion that such people have what is called a sadistic/narcissistic personality.
There are just so many co-incidences between your story and mine.
Revenge is not always the best thing so I’m really happy that you’ve decided to let things be. I’m also postive that he’s gonna pay for it some other way…you know what, well he’s lost another friend and that’s me.
Thank you everyone for the outpouring of support. For the loss of one friend I seem to have found so many and I know I’m blessed. Thank you Anon for relating and thanks shy for being such a wonderful friend. I bigger, better and stronger now because of you all.
Yes Deane, from St. Peters.
Nats… It must have been a joke 🙂 ever thought of that?
I don’t think it’s a joke when you go through someone’s personal life and the lives of their firneds and behave in a vengeful & cruel manner, so no, I don’t think its a joke.
Just ignore the idiot. BTW I like what you did with your hair 🙂
I think you and thekillromeoproject are really great people. Let that silly fool suffer …and he will… more so when he realises just how much he has lost. What a twit!
And for the record, your hair is fantastic!
i’m so proud of you natts!!!!! 🙂
Forget being the ‘bigger’ person or rising above it, there’s nothing wrong with venting once in a while…
I suggest you just kanney the bugger (or as our cousins up North say “give him one tight slap”)… there’s a nothing a thundering kanney can’t fix (for example yesterday my desk lamp broke and all I had to do was show it the back of my hand, broken filament my ass – yes I fear I may have some issues) …
Just the “Chattaas” sound you get when administering a thundering kanney will be all you need… believe me it’s saved me loads on therapy, of course the bills from Durduns sort of defeat the purpose seeing that I only have myself to slap… but yes as I was saying slap the bugger or better yet can I kanney him?… god knows my zigamatic bone needs a break (no pun intended)
Incidentally, if, as one of the other commenters pointed out, he happens to be a Peterite then what more reason do you need to put him one post haste, hell why not go the whole hog and administer a sound thrashing
Don’t leave these things be, they make the person feel like thye’ve gotten away with it and “serenity now” doesn’t work for in the immortal words of Lloyd Braun “Serenity now, insanity later”
P.S. it was I who took the sandwich, it wasn’t Colonel Mustard in with the candlestick in the living room…
I am really high right now… sorry for the ridiculousness
damn.. he was my class mate.. 🙂 was such a quiet fellow those days..